Adrenal gland function test

Today I took a T-shirt dress from its closet hook and put it on. I noticed that it had some sort of bug eggs on it. I sighed heavily, removed and smooshed the bug eggs, and thought about taking the dress off. Was there a small hole in it where the bug eggs had been? What kind of bug? Didn't look like mealy moths to me, and those are what one finds in clothes usually. What else could it have -- Whagga whagga whagga!

The magazines under my arm went flying, as did the medium-sized black spider on the dress. I evicted the spider to the farthest corner of the backyard, removed the dress, and put it and everything that had been near it in the closet in the laundry.

Spiders are my friends. They eat insects I don't like, including mealy moths. If any of the rest of my friends start reproducing in my closet, I'm going to re-evaluate those relationships, too.